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If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect
wood or assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for
the endless immensity of the sea.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery
It's amazing how 6 months in the lab can often save you 1 day in the library.
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.
- Ford Fairlane.
I'm not a complete idiot... Several parts are missing!
Ever heard the one about the statistician who drowned in a stream with a mean depth of 18 inches?
Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting
than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
- E. W. Dijkstra
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate.
It's not procrastination, it's my new Just-In-Time Workload Management
- Jim Paradis
Disclaimer: These are not the opinions of the University of Minnesota,
its Regents, faculty, staff, students, or squirrels.
Datclaimer: Well, maybe the squirrels. They're pretty smart.
- seen in a .sig
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such a degree that it
would be perverse to withhold provisional assent." I suppose that
apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not
merit equal time in physics classrooms.
- Stephen Jay Gould
If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?
If it's the thought that counts then why aren't there more pregnant women in the world?
Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.
- The Princess Bride
It's not denial, I'm just very selective about the reality I accept.
Give me caffeine, and no one gets hurt.
Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me
scream she said. The one that makes me laugh, she said.
- The Cure
Sometimes you're the windshield,
Sometimes you're the bug.
- Dire Straits, The Bug
The bottom line on parallel computing: you cannot produce a baby in one month by doing it with nine women.
New York Times Headline Tuesday, June 29, 1993, one day after Andrew Wiles announced he had proved Fermat's Last Theorem: U.S. SAID IT WAITED FOR CERTAIN PROOF BEFORE IRAQ RAID.
Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
- Dr. Venkman, GhostBusters
Note: All speling and/or grametical errers be the result of netwerk interpherance.
I once had a girl
Or should I say she once had me
- The Beatles
"In a riddle whose answer is chess, what is the only prohibited word?"
I thought a moment and replied, "The word chess".
- Jorge Luis Borges
Warning: Rob contains electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour. HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE.
Yea, from the table of my memory
I'll wipe away all trivial fond records.
Never put off until tomorrow, that which can be done the day after tomorrow.
First get the facts straight,
then you are free to distort them at your leisure.
- M. Twain
Just think of it, war breaks out and nobody turns up.
- Frankie goes to Hollywood.
I'm afraid some little blonde will come along and you'll forget all
Nonsense. I'll write to you every week.
I don't think Bambi Eyes will get you that flame thrower...
- Hobbes to Calvin
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
- Groucho Marx
A picture is worth a thousand words... can you draw a picture to
- Jan van de Snepscheut
It's hard to bargle nawdle zauss with all these marbles in my mouth.
Sin - I didn't invent it - I'm only trying to perfect it!
Speed has always been important otherwise one wouldn't need the computer.
- Seymour Cray
Sex is like pizza: when it's good, it's great! When it's bad, it's still pretty good.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU NEED COFFEE
1. While walking in the rain, you become disoriented, drop to your knees and begin looking for the soap.
Question all you are.
If I have not seen farther, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of
Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness
and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents
and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success.
- Sir Ernest Shackleton, Irish explorer
Every time I hear `to input' or `to output', I have the strong desire to upstand and to outwalk.
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
Imagine a person with a gift of ridicule [He might say] First that a
negative quantity has no logarithm; secondly that a negative quantity
has no square root; thirdly that the first non-existent is to the
second as the circumference of a circle is to the diameter.
- Augustus de Morgan
Do you speak hindustani?
- Hrundy Bakshi, The Party
I guess we're sick of trying to seduce people. If you don't like us by
now, you can get stuffed.
- Andrew Farris, INXS
Let r be a group, g be a field, and f be a ring.
- Rohit Khare
Nulla cosa per legame musaico armonizzata
si puo` dalla sua luquela in altra transmutare
senza rompere tutta la sua dolcezza e armonia.
- Dante; Convivio, book 1
A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
'My boy,' he said, 'you are descended from a long line of determined,
resourceful, microscopic tadpoles--champions every one.'
- Kurt Vonnegut, Galapagos
Where's your crown, King Nothing?
Smile, it could be worse. So I did, and it was.
Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the
deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or
brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action.
The summit of artistry cannot be reached, nor does a craftsman ever
attain pure mastery.
- Ptah Hotep, 2500BC
Pray that there's intelligent life somehere out in space, because
there's bugger all down here on earth.
- Python, Monty
I'll bet with my net I can get those things yet!
- Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a truckload of tapes.
That is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
- W. Churchill
I know you believe you understand what you think I meant, but I am sure you realise that what you seem to have heard is not what I said.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree
Disclaimer: Rob is ise.
Please note: These pages are no longer maintained (since circa December 2000).