Some quotes that I like

	Rob
			arley

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If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood or assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery

It's amazing how 6 months in the lab can often save you 1 day in the library.

Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.
- Ford Fairlane.

I'm not a complete idiot... Several parts are missing!

Ever heard the one about the statistician who drowned in a stream with a mean depth of 18 inches?

Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
- E. W. Dijkstra

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate.
- Dante

It's not procrastination, it's my new Just-In-Time Workload Management System!
- Jim Paradis

Disclaimer: These are not the opinions of the University of Minnesota, its Regents, faculty, staff, students, or squirrels.
Datclaimer: Well, maybe the squirrels. They're pretty smart.
- seen in a .sig

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent." I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms.
- Stephen Jay Gould

If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?

If it's the thought that counts then why aren't there more pregnant women in the world?

Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.
- The Princess Bride

It's not denial, I'm just very selective about the reality I accept.
- Calvin

Give me caffeine, and no one gets hurt.

Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream she said. The one that makes me laugh, she said.
- The Cure

Sometimes you're the windshield,
Sometimes you're the bug.
- Dire Straits, The Bug

The bottom line on parallel computing: you cannot produce a baby in one month by doing it with nine women.

New York Times Headline Tuesday, June 29, 1993, one day after Andrew Wiles announced he had proved Fermat's Last Theorem: U.S. SAID IT WAITED FOR CERTAIN PROOF BEFORE IRAQ RAID.

Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
- Dr. Venkman, GhostBusters

Note: All speling and/or grametical errers be the result of netwerk interpherance.

I once had a girl
Or should I say she once had me
- The Beatles

"In a riddle whose answer is chess, what is the only prohibited word?" I thought a moment and replied, "The word chess".
- Jorge Luis Borges

Warning: Rob contains electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour. HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE.

Yea, from the table of my memory
I'll wipe away all trivial fond records.
- Hamlet

Never put off until tomorrow, that which can be done the day after tomorrow.

First get the facts straight,
then you are free to distort them at your leisure.
- M. Twain

Just think of it, war breaks out and nobody turns up.
- Frankie goes to Hollywood.

I'm afraid some little blonde will come along and you'll forget all about me.
Nonsense. I'll write to you every week.

I don't think Bambi Eyes will get you that flame thrower...
- Hobbes to Calvin

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
- Groucho Marx

A picture is worth a thousand words... can you draw a picture to express that?
- Jan van de Snepscheut

It's hard to bargle nawdle zauss with all these marbles in my mouth.
- Al

Sin - I didn't invent it - I'm only trying to perfect it!

Speed has always been important otherwise one wouldn't need the computer.
- Seymour Cray

Sex is like pizza: when it's good, it's great! When it's bad, it's still pretty good.

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU NEED COFFEE
1. While walking in the rain, you become disoriented, drop to your knees and begin looking for the soap.

Question all you are.
- Lir

If I have not seen farther, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.

Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success.
- Sir Ernest Shackleton, Irish explorer

EYPHKA!

Every time I hear `to input' or `to output', I have the strong desire to upstand and to outwalk.

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
-jpb

Imagine a person with a gift of ridicule [He might say] First that a negative quantity has no logarithm; secondly that a negative quantity has no square root; thirdly that the first non-existent is to the second as the circumference of a circle is to the diameter.
- Augustus de Morgan

Do you speak hindustani?
- Hrundy Bakshi, The Party

I guess we're sick of trying to seduce people. If you don't like us by now, you can get stuffed.
- Andrew Farris, INXS

Let r be a group, g be a field, and f be a ring.
- Rohit Khare

Nulla cosa per legame musaico armonizzata
si puo` dalla sua luquela in altra transmutare
senza rompere tutta la sua dolcezza e armonia.
- Dante; Convivio, book 1

A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

'My boy,' he said, 'you are descended from a long line of determined, resourceful, microscopic tadpoles--champions every one.'
- Kurt Vonnegut, Galapagos

Where's your crown, King Nothing?
- Metallica

Smile, it could be worse. So I did, and it was.

Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action.
- Catch-22

The summit of artistry cannot be reached, nor does a craftsman ever attain pure mastery.
- Ptah Hotep, 2500BC

Pray that there's intelligent life somehere out in space, because there's bugger all down here on earth.
- Python, Monty

I'll bet with my net I can get those things yet!
- Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a truckload of tapes.

Keep honking.
I'm reloading.

That is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
- W. Churchill

I know you believe you understand what you think I meant, but I am sure you realise that what you seem to have heard is not what I said.

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree

Disclaimer: Rob is insane.

INRIA, Domaine de Voluceau - Rocquencourt, 78153 Le Chesnay, France.

Please note: These pages are no longer maintained (since circa December 2000).